Well, it has been an eventful week here at home to say the least....
This past weekend I made a trip up to Western Illinois University to check it out and made the final decision about it. I will be attending it in the fall of 2010 to major in Recreation, Park, and Tourism Management. I was amazing to finally have a set time and a goal for this college thing being over...
On other news our mother is in need of some serious prayer in the weeks to come. On Monday mourning she fell off our roof. She was taken to Anderson Hospital and then flown over to SLU trauma center. She is doing much better than when she arrived Monday afternoon. Right now both of her wrists are broken, a couple of broken ribs, broken collarbone, laceration to the liver, slight fracture in the hip, and has a deep cut on her forehead. So far the only worry some injury would be the wrists. Everything else is healing just fine. Yesterday she was moved out of the ICU and into a reg. room. The surgery that happened Tuesday mourning for her wrists was a success, but there will be a 2nd surgery for them in the days to come. I on the other hand just got back from the doctors and it seems like I have strained my back when I fell over the ladder when going for the phone, but with a little rest I'll be good as new in a couple of days. Not exactly the best of timing on my watch, but of course I'm not running the show!! So as for now I don't know exactly what will be happening in the weeks to come, but I have an overwhelming feeling that this was planned for a specific reason by my heavenly father. Maybe, it is that fear thing I am working on. I don't know, but with the love and support that our family, friends, and church that has been surrounding me in the past couple of days I have a feeling that not only will my mom realize that she isn't superwoman, but she will be even stronger when the recovery is over. The road will be long and rough, but I must once agian reliaze that I do not hold the reins nor did I ever or will ever.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
An American lesson.
A lot has changed since I last blogged. I have a job now. I am working at Schnucks in the floral and cooks departments.
So with starting that job the past couple of days I've just taking it easy! I've been taking advantage of this amazing weather. When it gets down to the 50's - 60's I love just to be sitting outside reading a good book. I've doing that a lot lately. The book I have been reading is American of Purpose: The Improbable Adventures Of An Unlikely Patriot. For those of you that don't know this is Craig Ferguson (host of the late late show on CBS at or around midnight) book. I tend to watch his shows for time to time to unwind. There is an honesty about his show that is not present with the other talk shows. Anyway I've skipped around a lot in this book, but I want to give you a small excerpt from this book. A little intro to this part is he is back in Scotland and his mother has just passed away. He is retreating by wanting to complete this book and words don't come about so he takes a walk. This is a short passage about his past and present.
"My siblings and I arranged for her funeral to be held a few days later and while waiting for that I threw myself into the completion of this book, hoping that the work would protect me from the sorrow, but the words wouldn't come.
So I went for a walk.
It was a shockingly clear, bright, and very cold day, atypical of Scotland in December. Everything seemed shiny and sharply in focus, but that may just have been my grief. I walked the streets of the West End of Glasgow, where I had roistered and caroused and caused a few broken hearts, including my own, so many years ago. I walked throughout Kelvingrove Park where, it seemed, the killer ducks had been replaced by a much friendlier variety. I walked past the magnificent architecture, the sandstone of the Victorian buildings basking warmly in the brightness of the sun. I walked and walked and walked and I couldn't feel anything, but I remembered that from my father's passing. Nothing at first, then a relentless build of emotion that rises unremittingly like a winter tide and threatens to engulf you.
Everywhere I look was achingly beautiful and I couldn't understand it. People were blushing from the cold, their breath puffing little clouds of life into the ether. the trees were frosted with ice crystals and the cloudless sky crossed with the high vapor trails of distant jetliners.
I stopped on Great Western Road and looked in the window of a closed art gallery at a Peter Howson painting of a shouting man and a barking dog. A short chipper gentleman of advanced years, of which there are a few in Glasgow, came and stood next to me.
It's Craig, in't it?-he said in an accent as thick as soup.
It is-I said
He told me he remembered me from the old days when I was causing trouble in the parish. we hadn't known each other, he just used to see me around.
Yer American noo?-the man asked
I am-I said
Must be nice. Although, you still seem Scottish to me. Nae offense. -the man said
None taken-I said
I felt a surge of affection for the old fella as I watched him walk toward a nearby pub, his giant old-guy ears pink and shiny from the cold.
Suddenly I was struck by the first broadside of terrible sadness, it sprung up and wrung tears out of me unexpectedly. I rubbed my face pretending my eyes were watering from the cold, which was entirely possible, and walked in the other direction.
I realized that in my desire to be an American, I risked forgetting where I had come from, and that would be an appalling act of self-robbery. I realized that I loved this place, that I always would, and that I would carry it with me wherever I went.
I am a child of two parents and two countries. My mother put the blue in my eyes and my father gave me grit. Scotland made me what I am and America let me be it.
America gave me everything I have today. It gave me a second chance at life. A life I had previously mishandled so catastrophically. Americans taught me failure was only something you went through on the way to success, not just in the sense of career or wealth but as a person. I learned that failure is only failure, and that it can be useful, spun into a story that will make people laugh, and maybe every once in a while give a message of hope to others who might need some.
For me, becoming an American was not a geographical or even political decision. It was a philosophical and emotional one, based on a belief in reason and fairness of opportunity.
I swore an oath not to be cowed by the authority of kings and Churches. I won't allow any kids of mine to grow up as I did, witnessing casual hatred between children just because it had always been that way.
I didn't become any less Scottish when I became an American. The two are not mutually exclusive. I am proud of my heritage. I will always be Scottish in my heart, but my soul is American, which means: between safety and adventure, I choose adventure.
Scottish by birth, but American on purpose." by Craig Ferguson
What I like most about this end of the book is the Ferguson refers to as a lesson taught by Americans.
"Americans taught me failure was only something you went through on the way to success, not just in the sense of career or wealth but as a person. I learned that failure is only failure, and that it can be useful, spun into a story that will make people laugh, and maybe every once in a while give a message of hope to others who might need some."
If you watched that show for some time and now his background or past you would be able to see that in his show, most often in his more serious times.
So with starting that job the past couple of days I've just taking it easy! I've been taking advantage of this amazing weather. When it gets down to the 50's - 60's I love just to be sitting outside reading a good book. I've doing that a lot lately. The book I have been reading is American of Purpose: The Improbable Adventures Of An Unlikely Patriot. For those of you that don't know this is Craig Ferguson (host of the late late show on CBS at or around midnight) book. I tend to watch his shows for time to time to unwind. There is an honesty about his show that is not present with the other talk shows. Anyway I've skipped around a lot in this book, but I want to give you a small excerpt from this book. A little intro to this part is he is back in Scotland and his mother has just passed away. He is retreating by wanting to complete this book and words don't come about so he takes a walk. This is a short passage about his past and present.
"My siblings and I arranged for her funeral to be held a few days later and while waiting for that I threw myself into the completion of this book, hoping that the work would protect me from the sorrow, but the words wouldn't come.
So I went for a walk.
It was a shockingly clear, bright, and very cold day, atypical of Scotland in December. Everything seemed shiny and sharply in focus, but that may just have been my grief. I walked the streets of the West End of Glasgow, where I had roistered and caroused and caused a few broken hearts, including my own, so many years ago. I walked throughout Kelvingrove Park where, it seemed, the killer ducks had been replaced by a much friendlier variety. I walked past the magnificent architecture, the sandstone of the Victorian buildings basking warmly in the brightness of the sun. I walked and walked and walked and I couldn't feel anything, but I remembered that from my father's passing. Nothing at first, then a relentless build of emotion that rises unremittingly like a winter tide and threatens to engulf you.
Everywhere I look was achingly beautiful and I couldn't understand it. People were blushing from the cold, their breath puffing little clouds of life into the ether. the trees were frosted with ice crystals and the cloudless sky crossed with the high vapor trails of distant jetliners.
I stopped on Great Western Road and looked in the window of a closed art gallery at a Peter Howson painting of a shouting man and a barking dog. A short chipper gentleman of advanced years, of which there are a few in Glasgow, came and stood next to me.
It's Craig, in't it?-he said in an accent as thick as soup.
It is-I said
He told me he remembered me from the old days when I was causing trouble in the parish. we hadn't known each other, he just used to see me around.
Yer American noo?-the man asked
I am-I said
Must be nice. Although, you still seem Scottish to me. Nae offense. -the man said
None taken-I said
I felt a surge of affection for the old fella as I watched him walk toward a nearby pub, his giant old-guy ears pink and shiny from the cold.
Suddenly I was struck by the first broadside of terrible sadness, it sprung up and wrung tears out of me unexpectedly. I rubbed my face pretending my eyes were watering from the cold, which was entirely possible, and walked in the other direction.
I realized that in my desire to be an American, I risked forgetting where I had come from, and that would be an appalling act of self-robbery. I realized that I loved this place, that I always would, and that I would carry it with me wherever I went.
I am a child of two parents and two countries. My mother put the blue in my eyes and my father gave me grit. Scotland made me what I am and America let me be it.
America gave me everything I have today. It gave me a second chance at life. A life I had previously mishandled so catastrophically. Americans taught me failure was only something you went through on the way to success, not just in the sense of career or wealth but as a person. I learned that failure is only failure, and that it can be useful, spun into a story that will make people laugh, and maybe every once in a while give a message of hope to others who might need some.
For me, becoming an American was not a geographical or even political decision. It was a philosophical and emotional one, based on a belief in reason and fairness of opportunity.
I swore an oath not to be cowed by the authority of kings and Churches. I won't allow any kids of mine to grow up as I did, witnessing casual hatred between children just because it had always been that way.
I didn't become any less Scottish when I became an American. The two are not mutually exclusive. I am proud of my heritage. I will always be Scottish in my heart, but my soul is American, which means: between safety and adventure, I choose adventure.
Scottish by birth, but American on purpose." by Craig Ferguson
What I like most about this end of the book is the Ferguson refers to as a lesson taught by Americans.
"Americans taught me failure was only something you went through on the way to success, not just in the sense of career or wealth but as a person. I learned that failure is only failure, and that it can be useful, spun into a story that will make people laugh, and maybe every once in a while give a message of hope to others who might need some."
If you watched that show for some time and now his background or past you would be able to see that in his show, most often in his more serious times.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Fall Getaway....
Here are some quotes and passages from my devotional that I hope will give you insight...
"Worry gives a small thing a big shadow"--Unknown
"Through no one can go back and make a new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end"--Unknown
"Beneath our meager understanding of Him is the knowledge that nothing can happen to me that does not have the potential for transforming me into His likeness and bringing glory to his Name. No disgrace, hurt, pain, abuse, shame, embarrassment, or fear needs to be wasted. He can turn good into it."--Carol Kent
"How is fear a friend? Fear is a friend because it is only when we are afraid that we plumb the depths of trust. We cannot know what trust means unless we live through experiences in which the Lord is all we have to hold on to. Through his experience of fear, David, became able to share a great and wonderful discovery with us.
"Worry gives a small thing a big shadow"--Unknown
"Through no one can go back and make a new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end"--Unknown
"Beneath our meager understanding of Him is the knowledge that nothing can happen to me that does not have the potential for transforming me into His likeness and bringing glory to his Name. No disgrace, hurt, pain, abuse, shame, embarrassment, or fear needs to be wasted. He can turn good into it."--Carol Kent
"How is fear a friend? Fear is a friend because it is only when we are afraid that we plumb the depths of trust. We cannot know what trust means unless we live through experiences in which the Lord is all we have to hold on to. Through his experience of fear, David, became able to share a great and wonderful discovery with us.
When I am afraid,
I will Trust in You.
In God,
Whose word I praise,
In God I trust;
In God I trust;
I will not be afraid
What mortal man due to me?
--Larry Richards
"Fear is not the private domain of the weak. It strikes at the best of us. It doesn't restrict itself to the individual but, like a virus, it can be transmitted to others. And its most dangerous aspect-especially for the christian-is its ability to slap handcuffs and shackles on life, to keep the believer who wears them bound up in a prison of frustration and hopelessness!"--Paul Moede
"The solution to overcoming fear is not positive self-talk or a greater effort to control my own behavior or the behavior of others. The solution is a broken humility and trust in a sovereign, engaged and loving God."--Carol Kent
This weekend was a amazing time. This past weekend I was at Turkey Hill Ranch Bible Camp is MO. It was Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru) retreat. Some of the big highlights was one of Saturdays breakout session for just the women. (the most profound, piercing, and silent bond that I have ever encountered with others.) I know that sounds weird writing it out here, but every woman filled out a survey about present and past issues that were dealing with. Categories included Pride--Anger/Hate/Racism--Lack of desire to spend time with God--Making out--Idolizing dating relationships--Sex--Cutting/Self Injury--Perfectionism--Comparison/Jealously/Envy--Abortion--Eating Disorder/Poor Self Image--Lust/Impure Thoughts--Depression--Anxiety/worry/fear/timidity--Gossip--Addiction--Dating non believer--Lying/Cheating--Foul Language--Complaining/critical spirit--Controlling/Manipulative--Materialism--Immodest/Improper dress--are among them. I going to blunt here but I circled about half of those. That is hard to say that but it some are those are among my past and present and possible future sins. When we got done with the survey we passed them all together and redistributed them. (we got someone else's, anonymously) When the category was called and it was circled we stood up. It was amazing to see how many college students struggle with the same issues, but still are obsessive that there are the only one living with the circumstances (I know! I'm still one of them, but its a process, it not overnight that transformation happens.) Anyway Fear, Pride, Comparison, and Lack of desire to spend time with God are among my most cherish sins and baggage I have right now. It is hard to describe why I hold on to these things, but apart of it that it has become "normal" for me. Living without these tend to be out of my comfort zone that is not of my choosing. Once again these baggages I have are beginning to be let go and taken to God, but once again this is a process. Nothing is ever perfect and once again I will try to take hold of my life and once again I will realize that it is not of my own, but only for Christ. But now I am making the better choices to lift them up and let go. My future for me is unknown, My future to God is known to my very last breath. I it is hard to let that be--Someone else knows more about me that I do--Anyway the most breath-taking thing that happen to me was this weekend was opening up to others along with others opening up to me. So for me I'm experiencing right now that is easier said then done!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Rattling of the Brain
Fall has hit and it is beautiful here in Illinois. Leaves are falling and the weather is turning. This is the best time of year for me!!
It's crazy here though. Just had my first round of tests, so classes are really starting to fire up. I am excited for the upcoming months that lie ahead not just because of school, but because of progress. I know that sounds weird and I can't explain by either writing or talking but my whole process of thinking and looking forward has change. Apart of that I would have to give credit to Sunday mourning's. Our pastor has started a new series a couple of weeks ago entitled "Unburdened." The title pretty much says it all. Two of the topics (of course) are of Fear and Doubt. Two words that not only every student whether it be of college, Sr.High, Jr. High will face, but to everyone that is human. For me it not nessiccarly doubt that is my burden but fear is. Although when we really look at ourselves where doubt lays abundant, fear also is abundant and where fear is abundant, doubt is also abundant. One cannot happen without the others presence. (or at least I think) Both are in a bond that is one of the most powerful tools the devil will cast upon us. Both cause separation from Christ, and both end up among death. This past Sunday my brain was once again rattling like a rattlesnake. Although it is hard to look at myself and to see all of the "flaws and sin," I know that movement is among me and where movement scurries about a more honorable Christ-like witness is there. So I'm trying to "fix" this fear thing for me. I the more I realize fixing is not the solution, but acknowledging it, giving it to God, and moving past it is! That also once again is better and easier said then done. When this series started I was finishing up a book and moving on to the other. The other book I have bought a couple of months ago and been wanting to read it but never got around to it. This other book just happen to be on Fear and Doubt. (What a God Moment!!!) I chuckled there for a moment when he announced this series since 2 days before I just started that book. Anyway it is by Carol Kent-and for those of you who don't know she is a prime witness of fear and doubt. She struggles with it every single day.
On another front CCC fall getaway is this weekend, which I'm anxious to only have 2 or 3 people from SWIC going, but there will be a lot of other colleges there and I ready to have some great rec. time while creating new friendships, and of course getting closer to God.
And on the my time I am finally keeping up with House. (I haven't watch and kept up on episodes since the 2 season) It is a great show, a little weird at times, but what makes that up is the amazing actors it has not only produced but kept. I am also looking forward a camping trip or two. And I will also be visiting Western Illinois on Oct. 31, and Southwest Baptist on Nov. 7. I am also torn between two great colleges that have an amazing major department. Along with this are college group is once again up and going with activities to come. So busy fall, but well worth it and fill with excitement!
It's crazy here though. Just had my first round of tests, so classes are really starting to fire up. I am excited for the upcoming months that lie ahead not just because of school, but because of progress. I know that sounds weird and I can't explain by either writing or talking but my whole process of thinking and looking forward has change. Apart of that I would have to give credit to Sunday mourning's. Our pastor has started a new series a couple of weeks ago entitled "Unburdened." The title pretty much says it all. Two of the topics (of course) are of Fear and Doubt. Two words that not only every student whether it be of college, Sr.High, Jr. High will face, but to everyone that is human. For me it not nessiccarly doubt that is my burden but fear is. Although when we really look at ourselves where doubt lays abundant, fear also is abundant and where fear is abundant, doubt is also abundant. One cannot happen without the others presence. (or at least I think) Both are in a bond that is one of the most powerful tools the devil will cast upon us. Both cause separation from Christ, and both end up among death. This past Sunday my brain was once again rattling like a rattlesnake. Although it is hard to look at myself and to see all of the "flaws and sin," I know that movement is among me and where movement scurries about a more honorable Christ-like witness is there. So I'm trying to "fix" this fear thing for me. I the more I realize fixing is not the solution, but acknowledging it, giving it to God, and moving past it is! That also once again is better and easier said then done. When this series started I was finishing up a book and moving on to the other. The other book I have bought a couple of months ago and been wanting to read it but never got around to it. This other book just happen to be on Fear and Doubt. (What a God Moment!!!) I chuckled there for a moment when he announced this series since 2 days before I just started that book. Anyway it is by Carol Kent-and for those of you who don't know she is a prime witness of fear and doubt. She struggles with it every single day.
On another front CCC fall getaway is this weekend, which I'm anxious to only have 2 or 3 people from SWIC going, but there will be a lot of other colleges there and I ready to have some great rec. time while creating new friendships, and of course getting closer to God.
And on the my time I am finally keeping up with House. (I haven't watch and kept up on episodes since the 2 season) It is a great show, a little weird at times, but what makes that up is the amazing actors it has not only produced but kept. I am also looking forward a camping trip or two. And I will also be visiting Western Illinois on Oct. 31, and Southwest Baptist on Nov. 7. I am also torn between two great colleges that have an amazing major department. Along with this are college group is once again up and going with activities to come. So busy fall, but well worth it and fill with excitement!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Looking toward the richness in my future while marinating in the present!
Just finished the third week of classes and I'm doing great so far in all of them. I got to be honest it feels good!! Mostly because I have a tendency to tense up when I look at the syllabus due to the many assignments, papers, tests, quizzes, etc. in the course. It is not bad this semester, I don't know if it is just a shift in perspective or I am not constantly bogged down with what's next and busy work! I am most dedication to my history course. Not because of it is the hardest, but because I am finding the most joy out of it right now. I would not classify myself as a history buff but just an interested party. Right now we are into the founding of America and the settlements of the original colonies. So right now my perspective is that I don't necessarily completely focus on history, but I marinate in the richness it gives me. Back in high school I would have never thought about any type of profession with history, but when I look back at it now I never really knew how much learning history was growing on me. That was probably due to the fact that when you look at my high school transcript it was the only class I excelled at, and didn't hate. it just a "weird", but "cool" feeling. Although not going directly into a history profession, if I ever want to do interpretation history is a big part of that.
As for other classes Bio is boring to say as an understatement (but I feel this is due to previous knowledge of what is being taught right now). Stats is still my most resented class, but it is better than Algebra and Cal. so I can't complain. And for Public Speech, well, most of you college students already know the feelings I have toward this. Though when I look at this class and when I look at the possibilities of where or what I want to go I feel this class will be apart the crucial success that will or won't come or at least just the setting it up of it.
As for other things CCC had there first semi-meeting just to get to know some of the people who signed up. I am stoked with what God has in store for SWIC. But I am also already missing those Thursday praise nights down with the SIUE group.
As for international news I am happy to receive much moving news for some missionaries in Nairobi. Thank you Copelands, it is always great to hear from you. But they are still in need of much prayer! God is moving among Nairobi, and he is using you as an example of answering the call to full-time missions.
For me up next: camping trip, hiking, CCC Fall Getaway, Prospective visits to Western Illinois, Southwest Baptist, and SIUC for backup
So just looking forward while marinating in the present.
As for other classes Bio is boring to say as an understatement (but I feel this is due to previous knowledge of what is being taught right now). Stats is still my most resented class, but it is better than Algebra and Cal. so I can't complain. And for Public Speech, well, most of you college students already know the feelings I have toward this. Though when I look at this class and when I look at the possibilities of where or what I want to go I feel this class will be apart the crucial success that will or won't come or at least just the setting it up of it.
As for other things CCC had there first semi-meeting just to get to know some of the people who signed up. I am stoked with what God has in store for SWIC. But I am also already missing those Thursday praise nights down with the SIUE group.
As for international news I am happy to receive much moving news for some missionaries in Nairobi. Thank you Copelands, it is always great to hear from you. But they are still in need of much prayer! God is moving among Nairobi, and he is using you as an example of answering the call to full-time missions.
For me up next: camping trip, hiking, CCC Fall Getaway, Prospective visits to Western Illinois, Southwest Baptist, and SIUC for backup
So just looking forward while marinating in the present.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Bigger things are yet to come!!
AMAZING!!
This weekend has brought energy and excitement that is in lack of words. (Read previous post before this one!) Friday and Saturday I was in STL attending the CCC (Campus Crusade For Christ) Leaders Overnight. It is where all the leaders of the metro-east colleges come together and get some amazing insight and some energy to begin the semester. This is the first one I have gone too. To be frank it was kind of weird for me, because I was the only one from SWIC to go. So with me and my ways I carpooled up there with some girls who go at SIUE. Last semester I had an amazing opportunity that came about-I didn't take band, and so I had Thursday nights open. SIUE CCC praise night is on Thursdays so I decided to see what it was like. Since SWIC does not have a large group of that size some of us usually do a lot along side the SIUE group. It is amazing to see what God is doing on that campus! I can't describe it all, so I'll just give you some highlights
In the main session on Friday night I got to listen to Dan Allan (regional director of metro-east CCC) Dan was talking about growth and the regional history of CCC. He talked about mostly how the numbers were and where CCC wants to go. In a short run he mentioned SIUE. Just a couple of semesters ago CCC started growing at SIUE, and now they had multiple bible studies all across the dorms and they have a large praise night Thursdays. To be honest this was a complete encouragement to me. When I first started at SWIC the bible study consisted of 2 leaders along with me and 2 other people. Over this past semester we had our bible study go around 10 people. I see SWIC as a future SIUE. To be honest I was a little frustrated to have a middle size campus but have a small bible study. Anyway to say the least it got me pumped up for the start of CCC.
In a seminar I attended I learned of "Soularium." I had heard of this before, but had never seen it used nor did I really know what it was. Abbie Windle headed this seminar. I really can't describe this in a short term process so there the website that can explain it in a better words. Basically pictures are used to describe your life now and what you wish it to be. What I love about this is that your really just listening in this type of setting, and because of the way it's done it really has you always on your toes-every picture has a different meaning and background, and why they choose that picture always is different. Not one answer is the same!
After another session we had held a campus session. So with the only one there from SWIC and having the same leaders as SIUE I was in there group. Casey (staff member on CCC) talked about 2 Timothy. And to put it in short I look on growth differently.
I also had some amazing time in fellowship among some of the leaders and among other students. It had been apparently a tradition to go to Waffle House on Friday night, but when me and some others had gotten there the line was out the door. So we headed to Denny's. I got to know some students along with Devin, and Abbie (both who are also on staff at CCC, abbie is also the wife of JB who heads the bible studies at SWIC, Devin is the boyfriend of Casey who also heads the bible studies at SWIC). One thing that was evident was the energy that was radiating from the staff members and along with excitement among the student leaders who attended there. I can't remember what we all talked about, but it was weird. The atmosphere was indescribable. Mostly because the session we had before was amazing an insightful. Energy and excitement filled the air, but we were all in a relaxed mood. once again it is hard to describe or it could be the fact that it was about 1 in the mourning at that point.
Saturday I was going on about 2 and a half hours of sleep, and had finished 3 cups of coffee (remember I don't drink coffee, and most of the time I do drink it I hardly finish cup 1). But Saturday mourning was the most interesting to me. During my breakfast we had some info/brainstorming etc. sessions I happen to go to Bridges session (bridges is the program that reaches out to international students on the campus). Having very small international students at SWIC, but being friends with an international student who just graduated I was interested.
All in all I had a great weekend where I not only heard that God was moving among campus in this region but I am seeing not only among us as student leaders, but among the students. God is in control. God is among students at SWIC, SIUE, etc. and bigger things are yet to come!
This weekend has brought energy and excitement that is in lack of words. (Read previous post before this one!) Friday and Saturday I was in STL attending the CCC (Campus Crusade For Christ) Leaders Overnight. It is where all the leaders of the metro-east colleges come together and get some amazing insight and some energy to begin the semester. This is the first one I have gone too. To be frank it was kind of weird for me, because I was the only one from SWIC to go. So with me and my ways I carpooled up there with some girls who go at SIUE. Last semester I had an amazing opportunity that came about-I didn't take band, and so I had Thursday nights open. SIUE CCC praise night is on Thursdays so I decided to see what it was like. Since SWIC does not have a large group of that size some of us usually do a lot along side the SIUE group. It is amazing to see what God is doing on that campus! I can't describe it all, so I'll just give you some highlights
In the main session on Friday night I got to listen to Dan Allan (regional director of metro-east CCC) Dan was talking about growth and the regional history of CCC. He talked about mostly how the numbers were and where CCC wants to go. In a short run he mentioned SIUE. Just a couple of semesters ago CCC started growing at SIUE, and now they had multiple bible studies all across the dorms and they have a large praise night Thursdays. To be honest this was a complete encouragement to me. When I first started at SWIC the bible study consisted of 2 leaders along with me and 2 other people. Over this past semester we had our bible study go around 10 people. I see SWIC as a future SIUE. To be honest I was a little frustrated to have a middle size campus but have a small bible study. Anyway to say the least it got me pumped up for the start of CCC.
In a seminar I attended I learned of "Soularium." I had heard of this before, but had never seen it used nor did I really know what it was. Abbie Windle headed this seminar. I really can't describe this in a short term process so there the website that can explain it in a better words. Basically pictures are used to describe your life now and what you wish it to be. What I love about this is that your really just listening in this type of setting, and because of the way it's done it really has you always on your toes-every picture has a different meaning and background, and why they choose that picture always is different. Not one answer is the same!
After another session we had held a campus session. So with the only one there from SWIC and having the same leaders as SIUE I was in there group. Casey (staff member on CCC) talked about 2 Timothy. And to put it in short I look on growth differently.
I also had some amazing time in fellowship among some of the leaders and among other students. It had been apparently a tradition to go to Waffle House on Friday night, but when me and some others had gotten there the line was out the door. So we headed to Denny's. I got to know some students along with Devin, and Abbie (both who are also on staff at CCC, abbie is also the wife of JB who heads the bible studies at SWIC, Devin is the boyfriend of Casey who also heads the bible studies at SWIC). One thing that was evident was the energy that was radiating from the staff members and along with excitement among the student leaders who attended there. I can't remember what we all talked about, but it was weird. The atmosphere was indescribable. Mostly because the session we had before was amazing an insightful. Energy and excitement filled the air, but we were all in a relaxed mood. once again it is hard to describe or it could be the fact that it was about 1 in the mourning at that point.
Saturday I was going on about 2 and a half hours of sleep, and had finished 3 cups of coffee (remember I don't drink coffee, and most of the time I do drink it I hardly finish cup 1). But Saturday mourning was the most interesting to me. During my breakfast we had some info/brainstorming etc. sessions I happen to go to Bridges session (bridges is the program that reaches out to international students on the campus). Having very small international students at SWIC, but being friends with an international student who just graduated I was interested.
All in all I had a great weekend where I not only heard that God was moving among campus in this region but I am seeing not only among us as student leaders, but among the students. God is in control. God is among students at SWIC, SIUE, etc. and bigger things are yet to come!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Emotional Rollercoaster
It has been over a month now since I posted last, and so let me get you caught up...
I finished out my classes strong..and did well in my nutrition class, but was hoping for a better grade in my earth science class..
After classes ended that Wednesday..me and my parents headed to the Ozarks for one last family vacation before I headed full swing with fall. And I got to be honest that will probably be the last semi-full family vacation. With fall heading full swing and then spring, and hopefully by the summer I will have some type of internship set up and well, after that I will be transferring (so whatever money I do have will be spent on paying for school). so with what little money be left time will be the most difficult.
For me it has been a surreal summer in an understatement. About a week ago I had to see a friend leave. Lena had been studying in the states, and she graduated this summer. So she must go back home to Jerusalem.
A couple of years ago I walked into a room not knowing where God was calling me. I was scared, confused, and rocky in my faith. The room I'm talking about is where the college bible study was being held. Although I was not alone in that room I did feel like it. Out of everyone there the person sitting next to me was the friend who I gotten to know deeply for the past 2 years. We were inseparable during this time. Well, to make it short over the next couple of months I grew in not only my faith, but my friendships. After I came back from serving at HLBC my friend that were the closest were moving in different stages of there lives. It was hard to watch this, but in 2 months the people that I come to know where not there anymore. So that is where Lena comes into the picture. Over the course of the next months I made more friends and I met Lena, a social work major from Bethlehem, she had been in the college group before I had even gotten there. So our friendship has gotten down to be one of those friends! over the past month it has been a sort of goodbye as she leaves this country, and heads back to her homeland.
Anyway it has been a weird, but encouraging summer for me. And it has made me realized that you never know what you have until it's gone. I never expected this at this point in my life, but this college stage is hard work. Friends come and go, good and bad grades, papers among papers, figuring out where god is calling you, finding a job or internship, etc. - all on top of trying to keep what sanity you have left. Most of this would involve time management (one thing that seems not to be my strong suite)I knew it was not going to be a cakewalk, but didn't think it be this stressful.
So over the past month I have made it a ritual to head to the local park and to do my quiet time. It has been refreshing to say the least. It has given me ideas to prevent this college burnout thing, but it has made me fall in love again with the simple beauty of God's canvas.
Classes started Tuesday for me and this semester seems it's going to leave more of a lasting impact then the others. My history professor is the same one who I had for a previous history course. And to shake it up and to make it awkward my public speech professor is the same one my mom had - (weird!) (it is also weird that there teaching in a community college out in the middle of nowhere. A true sign of passion and work ethic!!) I am also once again back in the saddle with the concert band. I'm a little rusty since I was out last semester, but I'm excited. It is amazing to say that I have been in band since the 5 grade (10 years!?!) That is also a realization that what it takes for you to be a professional musician!
For this weekend I'm headed off to a Campus Crusade for Christ overnight retreat. I'm excited to see what God has planned for SWIC. I'm excited for not only SWIC, but for what will be happening in the next semester for CCC. Unfortunately, I will not be able to make it to the Thursday night praise session at SIUE this semester with there CCC. So I hoping this could be a stepping stone to lay a solid foundation at SWIC at get some more bible studies and maybe even a praise night session of there own!
Check back in a week. I will post pictures and describe a wonderful family vacation, and I will also post what happen at the CCC overnight. Until next time!!
I finished out my classes strong..and did well in my nutrition class, but was hoping for a better grade in my earth science class..
After classes ended that Wednesday..me and my parents headed to the Ozarks for one last family vacation before I headed full swing with fall. And I got to be honest that will probably be the last semi-full family vacation. With fall heading full swing and then spring, and hopefully by the summer I will have some type of internship set up and well, after that I will be transferring (so whatever money I do have will be spent on paying for school). so with what little money be left time will be the most difficult.
For me it has been a surreal summer in an understatement. About a week ago I had to see a friend leave. Lena had been studying in the states, and she graduated this summer. So she must go back home to Jerusalem.
A couple of years ago I walked into a room not knowing where God was calling me. I was scared, confused, and rocky in my faith. The room I'm talking about is where the college bible study was being held. Although I was not alone in that room I did feel like it. Out of everyone there the person sitting next to me was the friend who I gotten to know deeply for the past 2 years. We were inseparable during this time. Well, to make it short over the next couple of months I grew in not only my faith, but my friendships. After I came back from serving at HLBC my friend that were the closest were moving in different stages of there lives. It was hard to watch this, but in 2 months the people that I come to know where not there anymore. So that is where Lena comes into the picture. Over the course of the next months I made more friends and I met Lena, a social work major from Bethlehem, she had been in the college group before I had even gotten there. So our friendship has gotten down to be one of those friends! over the past month it has been a sort of goodbye as she leaves this country, and heads back to her homeland.
Anyway it has been a weird, but encouraging summer for me. And it has made me realized that you never know what you have until it's gone. I never expected this at this point in my life, but this college stage is hard work. Friends come and go, good and bad grades, papers among papers, figuring out where god is calling you, finding a job or internship, etc. - all on top of trying to keep what sanity you have left. Most of this would involve time management (one thing that seems not to be my strong suite)I knew it was not going to be a cakewalk, but didn't think it be this stressful.
So over the past month I have made it a ritual to head to the local park and to do my quiet time. It has been refreshing to say the least. It has given me ideas to prevent this college burnout thing, but it has made me fall in love again with the simple beauty of God's canvas.
Classes started Tuesday for me and this semester seems it's going to leave more of a lasting impact then the others. My history professor is the same one who I had for a previous history course. And to shake it up and to make it awkward my public speech professor is the same one my mom had - (weird!) (it is also weird that there teaching in a community college out in the middle of nowhere. A true sign of passion and work ethic!!) I am also once again back in the saddle with the concert band. I'm a little rusty since I was out last semester, but I'm excited. It is amazing to say that I have been in band since the 5 grade (10 years!?!) That is also a realization that what it takes for you to be a professional musician!
For this weekend I'm headed off to a Campus Crusade for Christ overnight retreat. I'm excited to see what God has planned for SWIC. I'm excited for not only SWIC, but for what will be happening in the next semester for CCC. Unfortunately, I will not be able to make it to the Thursday night praise session at SIUE this semester with there CCC. So I hoping this could be a stepping stone to lay a solid foundation at SWIC at get some more bible studies and maybe even a praise night session of there own!
Check back in a week. I will post pictures and describe a wonderful family vacation, and I will also post what happen at the CCC overnight. Until next time!!
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